Depression

Been a bad few days.....Or to be more accurate, a bad 45 years. Not doing well since my road trip to Kamloops/ Kellowna.....Like a burr under the saddle, my thoughts are at unease. Even my walks with Hannah are mostly filled with blackness. Not fair to Hannah......She is so deserving of a better "Master". I feel most days I just disappoint her and make her unhealthy in mind and body. I worry she has gained weight because of my inability to cope and be more of a "playmate" that she needs. I know she wants (and needs) more "rough" play. Chasing her soccer or rugby balls. It takes so little to make her happy, but I cannot muster the energy  or enthusiasm to facilitate even the few short minutes of effort required. We used to play often at the "Biting Daddy" game. Now, it seems I don't have the will to participate except for a few seconds at a time.......and very rarely, if at all. I suck. I cannot help but think that she would be better off with someone else. Someone healthy. I certainly am not.